While every situation is unique, there are patterns in behaviors, from the time of the “trigger” that sets off an outburst to the time the crisis is over and the child is in a recovery stage. At the peak of the outburst, the child can become physically aggressive and/or dangerous. The most important thing to remember throughout these stages is to stay calm.
Parents will recognize the pattern of behavioral outbursts or the rage cycle. While the stages can vary in length, there is a predictable evolution to the cycle as outlined in the following.
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Rumbling:
Once an event has occurred that serves as the trigger for a behavioral outburst, the rumbling stage begins. This can include arguing, shouting, muttering under the breath, breathing hard, pacing, or rocking. In some cases, the child can be redirected at the early stage of rumbling. In other cases, the rumbling stage accelerates and intensifies to become rumbling stage 2, which accelerates to become the full rage outburst.
Peak:
The peak of the rage cycle, the child is likely to become physically aggressive toward others, toward himself, or destructive toward property. Remember, at this point, the child is irrational and is unable to process language, even to respond to commands. The priority at this time is maintaining safety—for you and the child.
Recovery:
After the peak of the rage subsides, the child is emotionally and physically drained. However, during this time, the child is fragile and another peak outburst can be easily triggered.
Throughout the rage cycle, the most important thing for parents to remember is to remain calm (despite your internal impulses). Use a soft voice and few words. Once the child has entered the rage cycle, it is not helpful to try to teach or discipline. Demanding compliance is not effective. In fact, it will likely accelerate the cycle.
Possible Interventions
Low Risk -(Green) Once a trigger has occurred:
1. Observe.
2. Assess the child’s level of self-control and ask yourself, “Do I need to prepare?”
3. Evaluate the environment, “Is it safe?”
Medium Risk (Yellow) When it is clear that the behavior is escalating:
1. Redirect the child to a preferred activity.
2. Guide the child to a quiet place where she can engage in some favorite calming activities.
3. Using a soothing tone, ask, “Are you OK?”
4. Walk, don’t talk—sometimes movement helps; encourage the child to walk with you.
5. Avoid a power struggle; do not argue with the child.
High Risk (Red) When the behavior is at its peak:
1. Remove dangerous objects.
2. Don’t try to discipline; don’t use words, don’t try to reason.
3. Stand at least one leg’s length away from the child. Instead of standing face-to-face, stand to the side (L-shape) of the child. This stance is
non-confrontational, and non-threatening.
4. Remain in control; stay calm and quiet.
5. Allow yourself to disengage emotionally, and don’t take the behavior personally.
6. Be flexible; the child cannot.
Once an event has occurred that serves as the trigger for a behavioral outburst, the rumbling stage begins. This can include arguing, shouting, muttering under the breath, breathing hard, pacing, or rocking. In some cases, the child can be redirected at the early stage of rumbling. In other cases, the rumbling stage accelerates and intensifies to become rumbling stage 2, which accelerates to become the full rage outburst.
Peak:
The peak of the rage cycle, the child is likely to become physically aggressive toward others, toward himself, or destructive toward property. Remember, at this point, the child is irrational and is unable to process language, even to respond to commands. The priority at this time is maintaining safety—for you and the child.
Recovery:
After the peak of the rage subsides, the child is emotionally and physically drained. However, during this time, the child is fragile and another peak outburst can be easily triggered.
Throughout the rage cycle, the most important thing for parents to remember is to remain calm (despite your internal impulses). Use a soft voice and few words. Once the child has entered the rage cycle, it is not helpful to try to teach or discipline. Demanding compliance is not effective. In fact, it will likely accelerate the cycle.
Possible Interventions
Low Risk -(Green) Once a trigger has occurred:
1. Observe.
2. Assess the child’s level of self-control and ask yourself, “Do I need to prepare?”
3. Evaluate the environment, “Is it safe?”
Medium Risk (Yellow) When it is clear that the behavior is escalating:
1. Redirect the child to a preferred activity.
2. Guide the child to a quiet place where she can engage in some favorite calming activities.
3. Using a soothing tone, ask, “Are you OK?”
4. Walk, don’t talk—sometimes movement helps; encourage the child to walk with you.
5. Avoid a power struggle; do not argue with the child.
High Risk (Red) When the behavior is at its peak:
1. Remove dangerous objects.
2. Don’t try to discipline; don’t use words, don’t try to reason.
3. Stand at least one leg’s length away from the child. Instead of standing face-to-face, stand to the side (L-shape) of the child. This stance is
non-confrontational, and non-threatening.
4. Remain in control; stay calm and quiet.
5. Allow yourself to disengage emotionally, and don’t take the behavior personally.
6. Be flexible; the child cannot.
From Myles, B., & Southwick, J. (2005). Asperger syndrome and difficult moments: Practical solutions for tantrums, rage, and meltdowns.